I realized today I have not had a single blog entry so far this year. I guess you could say I have been slacking. I have been busy. I have been working overtime since my employer decided it was a good idea to make a bunch of system changes. It has been making my old paycheck look good.
My Master and I are doing wonderful. My Master took me out for a beautiful romantic dinner for my birthday in February. He is amazing. It was even better because the restaurant was not busy, so I did not have any noisy people to contend with.
My medication for my GI problems is back on track. My normal GI doctor was able to get me my old prescription. So in the end everything worked out okay.
My cats are doing well. My little boy cat is turning 4 in a couple weeks. It is amazing how time flies.
This month is the month that marks me being active in the lifestyle for decade. I am still coming to terms with this because when I was fairly new I used to roll my eyes at anyone in the lifestyle for over 10 years. For whatever reason, they just seemed a little bit off. Now I am worried that I might be a little bit off.
-emma
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Why This Year Sucked
1. I found my step-child’s notebook which outlined her desire to kill me and her hatred/ lack of appreciation for everything I did for her. So we sent her to live with her mother.
2. I am having massive GI problems. I found a doctor and the medication that helped. Then they changed my medication and I am back to square one.
3. I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome and my hormones are such that I could have a stroke at anytime.
4. Because of my polycystic ovarian syndrome and my Master’s low sperm count, having a baby is not a good possibility for us.
5. My nice back office job where I don’t talk to customer’s changed to one where I get to talk to customers.
6. I have to talk to customers on the phone at work without a headset. I have a spinal rotation, so the result is severe back pain and spasms. I really need a better job.
7. I found out my big sister really does hate my existence. We didn’t grow up together and we never had a relationship because she has hated me since the day I was born.
8. My Master forgot to put in PTO time for our agreed upon vacation week. I got to sit at home by myself for a week and do nothing. He is off next week for a whole week.
9. I have had no luck with vendors. I ask for product, I pay for a product, and then they don’t want to provide the product I asked and paid for. Then they hassle me about a refund. Really, if you can’t provide the service you were contracted to do then get over yourself and give me my money back.
10. Despite trying every remedy on the internet and suggestion of my vet to get my male cat to poop in the litter box. He still is content with thinking outside the box.
Granted, things could be worse but I really hope next year is better.
-emma
2. I am having massive GI problems. I found a doctor and the medication that helped. Then they changed my medication and I am back to square one.
3. I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome and my hormones are such that I could have a stroke at anytime.
4. Because of my polycystic ovarian syndrome and my Master’s low sperm count, having a baby is not a good possibility for us.
5. My nice back office job where I don’t talk to customer’s changed to one where I get to talk to customers.
6. I have to talk to customers on the phone at work without a headset. I have a spinal rotation, so the result is severe back pain and spasms. I really need a better job.
7. I found out my big sister really does hate my existence. We didn’t grow up together and we never had a relationship because she has hated me since the day I was born.
8. My Master forgot to put in PTO time for our agreed upon vacation week. I got to sit at home by myself for a week and do nothing. He is off next week for a whole week.
9. I have had no luck with vendors. I ask for product, I pay for a product, and then they don’t want to provide the product I asked and paid for. Then they hassle me about a refund. Really, if you can’t provide the service you were contracted to do then get over yourself and give me my money back.
10. Despite trying every remedy on the internet and suggestion of my vet to get my male cat to poop in the litter box. He still is content with thinking outside the box.
Granted, things could be worse but I really hope next year is better.
-emma
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sarcasm
My Master has never really been one to like sarcastic responses. He feels that sarcasm is a way of masking the real issue and a sign of disrespect. Sarcasm can allow the person to take the focus off the answer and put the focus on the smart remark.
Smart remarks are never complimented or encouraged because it hurts open communication. My Master wants to know something; sarcasm, no matter how justified I feel it maybe, will help my cause or explanation.
Sarcasm, prior to being owned by my Master and prior to meeting my ex Master, was a part of my life. Being the smart ass made me well liked, but I now know that being well liked does not equal respected. Now that I am more mellow and free of my sarcastic replies I find that people look up to me and they don’t worry about me poking fun at their feelings.
With my former Master, sarcasm was not tolerated either. He always said that the last thing you want to be a SAM, because the other subs love them but the Masters hate them. I asked him once why the other subs love a SAM. He said it was because they say the ignorant stuff that slaves and attached submissives are not allowed to say.
He had an interesting theory, but I don’t find myself wanting to say what a sarcastic slave says. I tend to look at their master and wonder. I think that sarcastic behavior from the slave is a poor reflection on the Master. I always tell myself, I have to think before I respond.
I would rather be the quite on in the corner, than the slave making sarcastic replies to comments and the Master defending it as her spunk.
-emma
Smart remarks are never complimented or encouraged because it hurts open communication. My Master wants to know something; sarcasm, no matter how justified I feel it maybe, will help my cause or explanation.
Sarcasm, prior to being owned by my Master and prior to meeting my ex Master, was a part of my life. Being the smart ass made me well liked, but I now know that being well liked does not equal respected. Now that I am more mellow and free of my sarcastic replies I find that people look up to me and they don’t worry about me poking fun at their feelings.
With my former Master, sarcasm was not tolerated either. He always said that the last thing you want to be a SAM, because the other subs love them but the Masters hate them. I asked him once why the other subs love a SAM. He said it was because they say the ignorant stuff that slaves and attached submissives are not allowed to say.
He had an interesting theory, but I don’t find myself wanting to say what a sarcastic slave says. I tend to look at their master and wonder. I think that sarcastic behavior from the slave is a poor reflection on the Master. I always tell myself, I have to think before I respond.
I would rather be the quite on in the corner, than the slave making sarcastic replies to comments and the Master defending it as her spunk.
-emma
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Chores Part 1 of Organization
Getting organized can be a challenging task. Organization is key for maintaining a successful household. Without organization the laundry starts to pile up and we may forget to pay bill or pull something out for dinner. This is actually part 1 of a 3 part blog about building an organization spreadsheet. I decided to separate the blog into 3 parts so it would not become overwhelming for the reader.
We are going to start with chores. We all have household chores and we know they need to be done. The first thing you need to do is make a list of all of the chores you are responsible for, even the chores you put off so they get done infrequently.
My list included things like changing the cat litter, dusting the ceiling fans, laundry, filing, and etc.
The next step is creating an excel spreadsheet, like the one screenshot below. In column A I have the day/task and in column C I have the week of.
Then create a row labeled for each day of the week leaving a few blank rows in between each day so you can add tasks.
Then from the lists of tasks you created earlier sort out the ones that are done daily. In my case, the kitchen is cleaned daily therefore on each day of the week kitchen is listed as a task. If there are tasks that need to be done on a particular day, like trash day, put that under the corresponding day.
Then pick one or two tasks for each day of the week you are working. Do not load up the days you have to work with a lot of tasks. Try to keep the tasks for these days short and easy.
On your days off from work put the majority of your tasks and the any time consuming tasks.
In the week of column and on down the spreadsheet you fill in the weeks going Sunday to Saturday. Next to each task of the given week you will put a yes for completed or no and the reason why.
We are going to start with chores. We all have household chores and we know they need to be done. The first thing you need to do is make a list of all of the chores you are responsible for, even the chores you put off so they get done infrequently.
My list included things like changing the cat litter, dusting the ceiling fans, laundry, filing, and etc.
The next step is creating an excel spreadsheet, like the one screenshot below. In column A I have the day/task and in column C I have the week of.
Then create a row labeled for each day of the week leaving a few blank rows in between each day so you can add tasks.
Then from the lists of tasks you created earlier sort out the ones that are done daily. In my case, the kitchen is cleaned daily therefore on each day of the week kitchen is listed as a task. If there are tasks that need to be done on a particular day, like trash day, put that under the corresponding day.
Then pick one or two tasks for each day of the week you are working. Do not load up the days you have to work with a lot of tasks. Try to keep the tasks for these days short and easy.
On your days off from work put the majority of your tasks and the any time consuming tasks.
In the week of column and on down the spreadsheet you fill in the weeks going Sunday to Saturday. Next to each task of the given week you will put a yes for completed or no and the reason why.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Compassion
One thing that has always meant a lot to me throughout my relationship with my Master is his ability to be compassionate towards me. He understands when I am ill and supports me emotionally. He is my best friend and he never starts to act like the cliché uber dominant. One of the things I envy about my Master is his ability to listen to the pitfalls of my day and the worries of my life.
Compassion was not one of the traits I was actively looking when I was searching for a Master. At the time, I did not view it as either a needed or dominant trait. I lacked the understanding of why such a trait is important in an M/s relationship.
I can see now how compassion has benefited our relationship and has made it whole. I am allowed to be human and not just a toy. My Master recognizes that I like every other person in the world has needs and some days I am not capable of doing something. His compassion allows him to be understanding of those things without the desire to punish me.
If feel that at least for us compassion adds a sort of stability to our relationship and an understanding that at the end of the day we are both human.
-emma
Compassion was not one of the traits I was actively looking when I was searching for a Master. At the time, I did not view it as either a needed or dominant trait. I lacked the understanding of why such a trait is important in an M/s relationship.
I can see now how compassion has benefited our relationship and has made it whole. I am allowed to be human and not just a toy. My Master recognizes that I like every other person in the world has needs and some days I am not capable of doing something. His compassion allows him to be understanding of those things without the desire to punish me.
If feel that at least for us compassion adds a sort of stability to our relationship and an understanding that at the end of the day we are both human.
-emma
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Empty
This is the first holiday season without my step-daughter or any other children for that matter. The emptiness inside this house is numbing. Her room which was once full of life now contains only boxes of what once was. Only the cats go in there these days.
Around this time each year the house would have the aroma of freshly baked cookies and the table would be covered with them. There would be gobs of frosting sporadically on the table and a child in the midst of a sugar high at the end. Now we have a stack of yesterday’s mail and uneaten fruit on the table.
I have been ordered to cook a full Thanksgiving dinner, even though it is just my Master and I. So now a 12 pound turkey is sitting in the frig ready to go in the oven. All the side dishes are aligned and ready to go. Staring at it makes me think about how I have no one to share it with. It just feels so empty.
I also didn’t feel like putting up the Christmas tree this year. It just reminds me of everything that once was but once again I was ordered to put it up. The reason behind the order was so the cats would have something to climb up. Our cats have a track record of knocking down the Christmas tree at least once every year. So rather than putting a tree up for our non-existent family we are putting a tree up for the cats.
It just feels so empty here. I want to move away from this area and start over. But I feel like that would also be like running away from my problems which is something I have done my whole life. I suppose on the Brightside I don’t have to figure out if I should move or not. That is not my place.
-emma
Around this time each year the house would have the aroma of freshly baked cookies and the table would be covered with them. There would be gobs of frosting sporadically on the table and a child in the midst of a sugar high at the end. Now we have a stack of yesterday’s mail and uneaten fruit on the table.
I have been ordered to cook a full Thanksgiving dinner, even though it is just my Master and I. So now a 12 pound turkey is sitting in the frig ready to go in the oven. All the side dishes are aligned and ready to go. Staring at it makes me think about how I have no one to share it with. It just feels so empty.
I also didn’t feel like putting up the Christmas tree this year. It just reminds me of everything that once was but once again I was ordered to put it up. The reason behind the order was so the cats would have something to climb up. Our cats have a track record of knocking down the Christmas tree at least once every year. So rather than putting a tree up for our non-existent family we are putting a tree up for the cats.
It just feels so empty here. I want to move away from this area and start over. But I feel like that would also be like running away from my problems which is something I have done my whole life. I suppose on the Brightside I don’t have to figure out if I should move or not. That is not my place.
-emma
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Anticipatory Service
Anticipatory service can take many forms and can be used either to a small degree or a large degree in a Master/slave relationship. This is when the slave carrying out actions or behaviors that the Master desires. What the slave *wants* to do is not relevant.
Low level anticipatory service is simple things the slave may do for her Master like how she maintains her body. She may have a workout routine she does daily to maintain her body. She may keep herself shaved. She could also view her employment has service to her Master.
High level anticipatory services are the slave having enough knowledge and understand of her Master to be able to know what he wants before he asks. This could be the slave judging by her Master’s actions and behaviors what he would like for dinner, to drink, and how she can please him.
The benefits of anticipatory service are the slave will have expectation of what she is supposed to do each day. The slave may feel a greater sense of purpose. The Master will not have to bother will small reminders and can focus his energies on the larger, more pressing issues.
The con of anticipatory service is the slave could misjudge what the Master is wanting or needing. This may require redirection from the Master. Anticipatory service is not suitable for Master/slave relationships where the Master likes to do micromanagement.
In my relationship with my Master, we practice anticipatory service. My Master absolutely hates micromanagement. So for a large degree I have to be able to look at him and make a judgment call on what he wants for dinner, to drink, and etc. I have had errors but he will simply state what he wants instead.
One area where anticipatory service does not go for us is the bed room. I do not proposition my Master for any sort of sexual act. I wait for him to start sex and/or play time. We feel it is not the slave’s slave to proposition sex from her Master.
-emma
Low level anticipatory service is simple things the slave may do for her Master like how she maintains her body. She may have a workout routine she does daily to maintain her body. She may keep herself shaved. She could also view her employment has service to her Master.
High level anticipatory services are the slave having enough knowledge and understand of her Master to be able to know what he wants before he asks. This could be the slave judging by her Master’s actions and behaviors what he would like for dinner, to drink, and how she can please him.
The benefits of anticipatory service are the slave will have expectation of what she is supposed to do each day. The slave may feel a greater sense of purpose. The Master will not have to bother will small reminders and can focus his energies on the larger, more pressing issues.
The con of anticipatory service is the slave could misjudge what the Master is wanting or needing. This may require redirection from the Master. Anticipatory service is not suitable for Master/slave relationships where the Master likes to do micromanagement.
In my relationship with my Master, we practice anticipatory service. My Master absolutely hates micromanagement. So for a large degree I have to be able to look at him and make a judgment call on what he wants for dinner, to drink, and etc. I have had errors but he will simply state what he wants instead.
One area where anticipatory service does not go for us is the bed room. I do not proposition my Master for any sort of sexual act. I wait for him to start sex and/or play time. We feel it is not the slave’s slave to proposition sex from her Master.
-emma
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