Today

I called in ‘sick’ to my job that I am quitting because I was supposed to be on the phone talking to customers all day. My Master actually ordered the call in. I was pondering going in so that I will complete my two weeks’ notice without any problems. For me, going in was about doing the right thing even if my employer did not care to do the right thing.

My Master ordered me to be productive today and part of that production is standing down to give my mind time to rest. I think this was his way of saying I stressed myself out. So far today, I have slept in until about 10:30. I have also emptied the dishwasher and I did a load of laundry.


This afternoon I intend on planning dinner and applying for a few more jobs. I also want to get some more housework done but I think if I do too much I might get in trouble.

-emma

I Quit!

So I quit my job today and my employer made no attempt to save me. I am mildly disappointed I didn’t get even a pep talk in an attempt to keep me. Instead, I got to hear from my supervisor about how she has been cleaning out her office and fixing to quit herself. All I could think is, “Can we say sinking ship?”

Most of my co-workers are also working for other jobs, some are inquiring about unemployment due to a change in job duties which cause anxiety. I am also one of 6 people who gave their resignations today. I cannot blame them. I am leaving too. I really enjoyed my job for the most part. I had a sense of family at work, which I know sounds funny. I almost feel like I am going through a breakup.

The office ranter had her own opinions on the matter and had her own opinion on everyone quitting. She of course thinks it is stupid and thinks everyone is acting dumb. I just rolled my eyes and walked away from her.

So anyways, I am soon to be unemployed. I am going to start selling floggers online as secondary income. I do not know if it will take off or not but I thought I would give it a shot. The markup on floggers is sometimes ridiculous, so I am hoping that by selling them at a reasonable price I will be successful.

-emma

My current stressors

My life outside of my relationship with my Master is not doing well. I found out that my grandmother is ill and we went up to visit her over the weekend. It was an 8 hour drive to see her. We left on Friday after work and got there at 4 am. We then slept for a few hours before heading over to see my grandmother.

She is having mobility issues and is mildly depressed. Her blood counts came back bad today when she was at the doctor. I do not know how well she will be doing for how long. That is why we made the trip to see her and spend time with her. I do not know if I will have another chance to see my grandmother alive.

Then at my work we are turning into a call center from a back office. I did call center work for 3 years of my life and it was stressful for me. I had trouble dealing with stress of that and focusing on my Master. Today, after visiting my ailing grandmother all weekend I found out I get to be on the phone for my entire 8 hour shift. Then I found out there was no one to cover my work and the senior manager at my office told my supervisor to just have me do my normal daily work after my 8 hour shift on the phone.

After having a stressful weekend and 8 hours on the phone talking to angry customers, I had little interest in working another 8 hours to do my daily work. Therefore, I went home after my shift was scheduled to end. I also packed up all of my personal items on my desk to make quitting easier for me.

My Master is supportive of me quitting my job in favor of finding something that is more suitable for my skill set and desired stress level. If I had the monetary means to I would love to stay home, but that is simply not a possibility.

My one reservation with telling my employer where they can shove it is the benefits are through my work and my benefits are better than the work offered at my Master’s work. It’s not a big deal in less one of us becomes ill then we will get stuck with a large bill. We would also have to pay for our prescription medicine out of pocket whereas now we pay co-pay. My Master assured me it will be okay as long as we do not get sick.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to deal with all of this. Sometimes, I wish I just had a clear path of what to do, but nothing in life has ever been that black and white.

-emma

My Little Kitchen

Today is going well. I made a trip to our local discount warehouse to pick up a number of items for our home. My Master was out of chips and snack bars. We also needed to buy some meats and produce.

I have spent a fair amount of time this afternoon organizing my kitchen to fit everything. I would love to have a pantry someday. A pantry would make my heart melt. We actually have what we call kitchen overflow. We have a shelf unit for dishes and another separate storage unit for dry foods, like my Master’s snacks and cereals. Our dry paper goods, like paper towels and paper plates are kept in the garage.

My Master is busy replacing the light fixtures in the kitchen, since they shorted out. The fixtures were original to the house which was built in the 1980s so I think the fixtures had a good run. It is nice having a Master who is also handy around the house. I would probably have to take a class at the local technical school to learn how to change a fixture.

-emma

First Harvest of the Year!!

My Master and I have been having a wonderful weekend. I had my pea harvest from my mini-garden. I was so excited! I got about a bowl for peas, which I know doesn’t sound like a lot but it was a big step for me.

My Master and I also spent some time talking about how to improve the yield for next year. We are going to plant 30 feet of peas next year and we are going to plant in stages. By planting in stages we will not have to harvest everything at once. His plan is to have me plant 6 feet of peas, every week for 5 weeks.

Although, I am more than pleased with the gardening progress I have made this year. I look forward to next year and improving on my skills set in this area.

-emma

Growing Old.

I was talking to my mother the other day about how people in my father’s side of the family typically have extremely long lives. They live well into their 90s and are active throughout their lives. I think it is wonderful that my relatives get to enjoy a long life. I on other hand have different feelings about it. I am going to be alone in my old age and I have no legacy to pass down. It is hard for me to comprehend that I am not even 1/3 of the way through my life. I have so much time left.

I am the spitting image of my grandmother. When I look at her, I cannot help but think to myself that I am going to look like her someday. I am not looking forward to being old. I think I will miss being young. I hope that my siblings will be nearby when I do grow old. Maybe my twin and I will share an apartment at the retirement home.

In some ways, I am looking forward to being old. I can do crazy stuff and people will just attribute it to my age. No one will look down on me for attempting to break dance and I can tell my great nieces and nephews embarrassing stories about their parents.

I will fit in at the retirement home, because I already like playing Bingo. I also have a thing for older men and being in a retirement home would give me many choices in older men, perhaps more then I would know what to do with. (This is why it would be good for my twin to live with me. It would keep me out of trouble.)

In other ways, I am not looking to growing old. I do not know how to navigate the world when I am actually viewed as old. Most people mistake me for a child and I do not know how to handle being treated like an adult. When I am mistaken for a child, I typically just correct the person. If they continue then I start to get cranky. I did make an employee at the casino cry, because she assumed I was under 21 and did not ask to see my ID. I still think she deserved it and I got free breakfast from the manager over the casino because of it.

-emma

Positive

Things are looking up. My GI problems seem to be subsiding. I can still feel the hernia and I probably still need to go to the doctor. But the pain is subsiding and I am not having as much trouble eating. I am still mildly fatigued. I feel I am getting stronger as the days go on and I hope this positive trend continues.

I started to space out more time between breakfast and lunch and that seems to have helped with my food intake. The change in eating times did have an impact on my medication schedule, but overall it wasn’t a bad adjustment.

I hope to start working out more next week. I have kind of gotten out of the grove of that. Lately I have only had 30 minutes of scheduled walking a day and I know I need more time devoted to exercising. I am not sure what I want my routine to be yet or what my goal will be. I am going to talk with my Master to see what he thinks is best in that area. He has a tendency to set a high goal for me with working out then have a lower expectation (which he often opts not to tell me until later).

-emma