Monday, September 6, 2010
Climaxing from Pain
I can be very masochistic, which is a behavior my Master and I enjoy but it is also one my Master has to carefully control. If left unchecked, my masochistic tendencies become increasing more severe to the point where I could actually harm myself or more often, my masochistic tendencies can take over my life.
Last night, my Master and I had a very nice play session. It was the first one where I actually reached a climax in about a year. My Master started with flogging my back and then he progressed into beating my back with a riding crop. This caused me to climax twice as he was hitting me with the riding crop. I have some nice bruises on my back today and it is a little sore, but even so I find myself craving more.
I can imagine in my mind all sorts of things I would like done to me, so I can climax again. A climax from pain stimulation is unbelievably good. It is better than any climax I can get from clitoral or vaginal stimulation. A climax from pain is so intense and sweet. In those moments I feel truly alive and as weird as it sounds I see a field of flowers when I climax from pain. I have no idea what that means but the field of flowers is always there.
In order for me to reach a climax from pain it requires a lot of pain play and if it is done with any frequency the level of pain I have to experience to reach a climax increases. For instance, when I left my ex I was to the point of having my breasts nailed to boards and a cattle prod used on me. My masochistic tendencies have lightened significantly since then which I have mixed feelings about if that is a good thing. My Master tells me if I would have continued to progress on the path I was on with my ex I would probably be dead by now. That statement is probably accurate.
One of the many reasons why I sought to be owned was to control my masochistic tendencies. I knew they could get out of hand and start to rule my life. I think that everything in moderation is good. Although I would love to be able to climax from pain more often than once per year I know my Master will make it happen, no more often than is reasonable or safe for me.
I suppose, as much as I don’t want to admit it, not giving me everything I want, when I want it, is part of being a responsible owner. My Master is a good man.