One thing that has always meant a lot to me throughout my relationship with my Master is his ability to be compassionate towards me. He understands when I am ill and supports me emotionally. He is my best friend and he never starts to act like the cliché uber dominant. One of the things I envy about my Master is his ability to listen to the pitfalls of my day and the worries of my life.
Compassion was not one of the traits I was actively looking when I was searching for a Master. At the time, I did not view it as either a needed or dominant trait. I lacked the understanding of why such a trait is important in an M/s relationship.
I can see now how compassion has benefited our relationship and has made it whole. I am allowed to be human and not just a toy. My Master recognizes that I like every other person in the world has needs and some days I am not capable of doing something. His compassion allows him to be understanding of those things without the desire to punish me.
If feel that at least for us compassion adds a sort of stability to our relationship and an understanding that at the end of the day we are both human.
-emma
Friday, November 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Empty
This is the first holiday season without my step-daughter or any other children for that matter. The emptiness inside this house is numbing. Her room which was once full of life now contains only boxes of what once was. Only the cats go in there these days.
Around this time each year the house would have the aroma of freshly baked cookies and the table would be covered with them. There would be gobs of frosting sporadically on the table and a child in the midst of a sugar high at the end. Now we have a stack of yesterday’s mail and uneaten fruit on the table.
I have been ordered to cook a full Thanksgiving dinner, even though it is just my Master and I. So now a 12 pound turkey is sitting in the frig ready to go in the oven. All the side dishes are aligned and ready to go. Staring at it makes me think about how I have no one to share it with. It just feels so empty.
I also didn’t feel like putting up the Christmas tree this year. It just reminds me of everything that once was but once again I was ordered to put it up. The reason behind the order was so the cats would have something to climb up. Our cats have a track record of knocking down the Christmas tree at least once every year. So rather than putting a tree up for our non-existent family we are putting a tree up for the cats.
It just feels so empty here. I want to move away from this area and start over. But I feel like that would also be like running away from my problems which is something I have done my whole life. I suppose on the Brightside I don’t have to figure out if I should move or not. That is not my place.
-emma
Around this time each year the house would have the aroma of freshly baked cookies and the table would be covered with them. There would be gobs of frosting sporadically on the table and a child in the midst of a sugar high at the end. Now we have a stack of yesterday’s mail and uneaten fruit on the table.
I have been ordered to cook a full Thanksgiving dinner, even though it is just my Master and I. So now a 12 pound turkey is sitting in the frig ready to go in the oven. All the side dishes are aligned and ready to go. Staring at it makes me think about how I have no one to share it with. It just feels so empty.
I also didn’t feel like putting up the Christmas tree this year. It just reminds me of everything that once was but once again I was ordered to put it up. The reason behind the order was so the cats would have something to climb up. Our cats have a track record of knocking down the Christmas tree at least once every year. So rather than putting a tree up for our non-existent family we are putting a tree up for the cats.
It just feels so empty here. I want to move away from this area and start over. But I feel like that would also be like running away from my problems which is something I have done my whole life. I suppose on the Brightside I don’t have to figure out if I should move or not. That is not my place.
-emma
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Anticipatory Service
Anticipatory service can take many forms and can be used either to a small degree or a large degree in a Master/slave relationship. This is when the slave carrying out actions or behaviors that the Master desires. What the slave *wants* to do is not relevant.
Low level anticipatory service is simple things the slave may do for her Master like how she maintains her body. She may have a workout routine she does daily to maintain her body. She may keep herself shaved. She could also view her employment has service to her Master.
High level anticipatory services are the slave having enough knowledge and understand of her Master to be able to know what he wants before he asks. This could be the slave judging by her Master’s actions and behaviors what he would like for dinner, to drink, and how she can please him.
The benefits of anticipatory service are the slave will have expectation of what she is supposed to do each day. The slave may feel a greater sense of purpose. The Master will not have to bother will small reminders and can focus his energies on the larger, more pressing issues.
The con of anticipatory service is the slave could misjudge what the Master is wanting or needing. This may require redirection from the Master. Anticipatory service is not suitable for Master/slave relationships where the Master likes to do micromanagement.
In my relationship with my Master, we practice anticipatory service. My Master absolutely hates micromanagement. So for a large degree I have to be able to look at him and make a judgment call on what he wants for dinner, to drink, and etc. I have had errors but he will simply state what he wants instead.
One area where anticipatory service does not go for us is the bed room. I do not proposition my Master for any sort of sexual act. I wait for him to start sex and/or play time. We feel it is not the slave’s slave to proposition sex from her Master.
-emma
Low level anticipatory service is simple things the slave may do for her Master like how she maintains her body. She may have a workout routine she does daily to maintain her body. She may keep herself shaved. She could also view her employment has service to her Master.
High level anticipatory services are the slave having enough knowledge and understand of her Master to be able to know what he wants before he asks. This could be the slave judging by her Master’s actions and behaviors what he would like for dinner, to drink, and how she can please him.
The benefits of anticipatory service are the slave will have expectation of what she is supposed to do each day. The slave may feel a greater sense of purpose. The Master will not have to bother will small reminders and can focus his energies on the larger, more pressing issues.
The con of anticipatory service is the slave could misjudge what the Master is wanting or needing. This may require redirection from the Master. Anticipatory service is not suitable for Master/slave relationships where the Master likes to do micromanagement.
In my relationship with my Master, we practice anticipatory service. My Master absolutely hates micromanagement. So for a large degree I have to be able to look at him and make a judgment call on what he wants for dinner, to drink, and etc. I have had errors but he will simply state what he wants instead.
One area where anticipatory service does not go for us is the bed room. I do not proposition my Master for any sort of sexual act. I wait for him to start sex and/or play time. We feel it is not the slave’s slave to proposition sex from her Master.
-emma
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