Serving in an Unfamiliar Situation

I think for some people the fear of the unknown can leave uncertainty or even an unwillingness to step outside of one’s comfort zone and do something new or different. As a slave, I am often faced with unfamiliar situations and dealing with those situations can be challenging. Over the years, I have learnt how to deal with unfamiliar situations in a manner that fit my relationship with my Master.

I am generally the one who does all the detail planning on our trips, meals, and things of that nature. This gives me a chance to do research on the area to figure out the places to go and the places not to go. I always have a backup plan just in case the first plan doesn’t work out. Once I have my plan developed I will go over it with my Master before the trip and make any needed chances. This works out well for us.

In an unexpected situation that is unfamiliar to me, I tend to rely more on my Master. I will tend to ask him more frequently if something should be done or if I should do something before I make an attempt. The reason for this is the unexpected situation may have us both outside of our comfort zone so it is important that we communicate effectively.

One thing that has never been allowed to me during the course of our relationship is using discomfort with a situation to be a way in which I could opt out of a situation. I do not always want to face with unfamiliar things, but without being faced with unfamiliar things there is no personal growth. I could see myself getting stuck in a role so to speak with what I could do for my Master if I was never pushed outside of my comfort zone. I feel that if I got stuck in a role, which would mean I am only acting in areas which are familiar to me. It would greatly affect my ability to serve my Master.

-emma

Pet Peeve, Affairs

Quite possibly, one of my biggest pet peeves is people who attempt to justify their actions for cheating on their significant other is because the person they are having an affair with is their “Master.” I do not think an affair can create an M/s relationship. The only thing an affair does is give the parties involved a little trill and an escape from reality.

It’s not so much the thrill or the escape from reality that rubs me the wrong way about an affair. It is the lying and the blatant disregard for their significant other, their children, and their family. An affair costs money and when someone is having an affair they are taking money off their families table.

I hear from people in an affair that money is tight so they can’t leave their unhappy marriage. I always think to myself, “Did they ever consider saving the money they are spending to fuck around on getting out of that situation and spending the time they are using to fuck around on earning money to get out of the situation?” These people seem to have never considered that their choices are part of what is keeping them in the situation they are in. We cannot have everything all at once and sometimes we have to make sacrifices to be able to get to the point of being happy.

The lying just tells me the people involved in an affair have no respect for others. If you are unhappy in your relationship, then state you are unhappy and leave that relationship before pursuing the next. If you think your significant other is going to beat you or hurt you for leaving, ask yourself this, what do you think your significant other is going to do when they find out you were fucking someone else?

If someone has the time to fuck around when their primary relationship is abusive, they clearly have the time to make an escape from that relationship. There are shelters and aide available for people in that situation. Personally, I have been an abusive relationship and I never had an affair. I left.

Anyways, all in all I think people who have affairs need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions.

-emma

Spring is Almost Here!

Spring is almost here and I am excited! Today, I made my corned beef and cabbage because it was St. Patrick’s Day. I have never liked the meal, but I make it to please him and I only have to do it once per year. I decided to attempt to make the meal in a crock pot, I got the idea when my co-workers were talking about making corned beef and cabbage for work in a crock pot since we don’t have ovens.

Anyways, the corned beef and cabbage turned out excellent. It was very tender and falling apart. It wasn’t tough like all my previous attempts at making the meal. The flavor was also good. In the past I had covered my corned beef with ketchup, but this year there was no need. It was truly an amazing meal.

Today, I also had the time to get my garden planted. We bought a couple more pots to expand our garden this year and I am looking forward to refining my gardening technique this year. This year I am growing tomatoes, cucumber, bell peppers, brussels sprouts, green onions, romaine, kale, blueberries and raspberries. I will be posting pictures soon. It was too dark by the time I finished to take a picture.

-emma

Our Ancestors Workload

As I was driving to work the other day, I was pondering about how life was hundreds of years ago when the wife typically stayed home versus the way things are now. Before I left for work I loaded the dishwasher and started a load of laundry. These two things I was not doing by hand and would be completed when I got home from work.

Hundreds of years ago, not only would I have washed the dishes by hand but I would have also washed our clothes by hands on a wash board. I used a wash board once, as part of a school project to help us understand the hard work our ancestors did. Using a wash board is not easy and it was a lot of work.

It was easy for me to see why; it was expected for a wife to stay home a long time ago. The time it takes to do chores back then took longer than they do now. They didn’t have the advantage of technology to help them get their chores done like we do now. It was also easy for me to see why; it is more socially acceptable now for a woman to work outside the home. Simply put, the demands to keep a home running are not as high as they once were.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a housewife or a house slave. All I am saying is I can certainly see that the housewives of the past most certainly worked harder than the housewives of today. I also think people who work outside the home also do not work as hard as our ancestors. Our workdays are shorter and we also have modern technology to help us get the job done faster and easier with less people.
I think that with the help of technology it is easier for people to balance working and maintaining a home. It does take some degree of planning but I firmly believe it is easier to create that balance in this day and age then it would have been hundreds of years ago.

-emma

The Value of Mornings

I have never really seen much value in the morning. It has always been viewed from my perspective as a drain on my day. I put all the value of a day in the evening and what I do in the evening. The whole showering, eating breakfasts, packing lunches, and etc I saw as part of work. Interestingly, I didn’t see dinner as part of work. I found dinner relaxing and something I do on my time.

I am in the process of shifting around my thinking. The morning is a valuable part of my day. It is the start of my day, where I can do things for me and my Master. The things I already do have a positive impact on our day like cooking breakfast. It is just a matter of me seeing it as bonding time we spend together, much like the time we spend together in the evenings.

I am also rethinking my morning commute to work. I hate the commute to work, but I don’t mind the commute from work. I have always viewed the morning commute as part of work, but the ride home was not. I don’t really have any logic to justify this mindset, but that is how my thought process worked. Now, I am working on looking at my morning commute as a drive to my place of employment. It is time for me to lower my stress levels and relax.

I realize that shifting around my thinking is going to take time, but when I starting thinking that the morning is part of my day. I suddenly felt like I had I a lot more time in the day for me and my Master.

-emma

Woes of Change

Being on my new diet is difficult. I have somewhat limited options on what I can eat and I am pretty much having to relearn how to cook for my new diet. My diet is low fat, low carbohydrate, and low sugar. My Master was on the Adkins diet several years ago, but he could have fatty foods which more or less made up favor wise for the lack of carbohydrates. Many of the recipes I had for that diet won’t work because they are high in fat and lack a decent vegetable/ fruit element.

I have been experimenting a lot in the kitchen and I have been faced with mostly failures. I feel like I did when I was in junior high and starting to experiment in the kitchen. Failure after failure, it literally took me years to get a decent grasp on cooking. (My parents were the boxed meal people and we had no spices in my house when I was growing up. So learning how to cook did take a great deal of perseverance on my part.)I did come up with a chili, stuffed broccoli, and whole wheat dough recipe that aren’t half bad. But they are still in the tweaking stages.

This whole thing is making me very depressed. It sucks whenever we go out to eat and there are one or two things on the entire menu that I can actually eat and at some places there is nothing. Then the wait staff will always ask if we want an appetizer. I tell them there is nothing on their appetizer menu I can eat. Then they tell me their chips and spinach dip is good. I am sure their chips and spinach dip is good, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t eat it.

Tonight because I lost some of myself moderation, I had one piece of sugar free candy, a Clementine, and a serving of wheat thins. I realize this does not sound like binge eating to a normal person, but it spiked my blood sugar up over 200. Since my doctor believes I can control this with diet, which is true I can if I don’t do crap like I did tonight. I don’t have anything to get my blood sugar down, other than waiting and hoping it goes down. It did eventually go down.

I suppose this is just one of life’s challenges that I have to face. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am doing a very good job of facing it.

-emma

Addiction

One thing I have struggled with for years is my addiction to soda pop. It was the caffeine in the soda I had an addiction to and I could never quite kick the habit. I was able to cut down in the past but anytime I ever found myself in a stressful situation, I would find myself downing a couple sodas. Whenever, I tried to quit I would get caffeine headaches and I would feel like I couldn’t live without it.

Since at the time, soda was having no real health impact on me, my Master sought to limit my intake but not cut off my intake. He was okay with me having a couple extra sodas to get through an extra long day at work and not say something I shouldn’t in front of my family.

All that has now changed, I found out that my soda intake was raising my blood sugar and caffeine could also have an effect on blood sugar. I have been feeling like garbage for the past few months and that spurred me into action. I was able to finally quit, my soda pop habit.

I was expecting all these withdraw symptoms to make my life hell for a few days, but the withdraw symptoms wasn’t as bad as the blood sugar issues it was causing. I think what changed is I had a motivating reason to stop with the soda. Not some lone threat of one day getting ill from it, but a real treat that makes me like crap.

I think I have a better understanding of addiction now, I can see that a person cannot stop until the addiction reaches a point where the person feels their life is in danger or they truly feel it is for the best.

-emma