Maintaining Family Ties

One thing I have noticed over the years is some people use this lifestyle as an excuse to cut off ties with their family. There are a variety of reasons for this from every member of their family being ‘toxic’ to just needing to only focus on the relationship with their partner and/or any children born of that relationship. I do not think it is necessary to cut off family ties for a relationship. My Master and I consider keeping family ties important, but I think it is important to do so in a healthy manner.

My Master and I do have boundaries when it comes to dealing with family. We won’t bail them out of jail or pay for their way out of debt, but we will listen to their life woes. We try to be at our siblings and parents significant life events. My Master’s siblings are all wed, but we make it to my siblings’ weddings and we even went to say farewell to my brother when he was leaving for his deployment. While my brother was deployed, I wrote letters and sent care packages.

What I do and how I handle my family is all very typical. I do not feel cutting off family ties would in any way help or improve my relationship. In my previous M/s relationship, I didn’t have contact with my family. It was seen as an inconvenience and he really did have me convinced that my family must be comprised of bad people.

The truth is the only bad person was the person seeking to isolate me from my family. My family is a little crazy, but what family isn’t? Family emergencies never happen on a schedule or at a convenient time. Making the time for family is worth the investment.

I suppose the key to having a successful relationship with family is pretty simple and can be broken down into 5 steps.

1. Setup boundaries meaning don’t bail them out of difficult situations that they created. Some life lessons they have to learn themselves. But be willing to talk to them about the situation.

2. Do bail them out of atypical situations, like if their car broke down or if they are drunk at the bar and their ride left them.

3. Be a good sibling. Call your siblings and make time for them. Go to their significant life events if you are financially able. Missing a couple hours of sleep for one night because a life event is not a good reason.

4. Be a good daughter or son. Call your parents and make sure they are taken care of. As our parents age, they may need more care from their children. This may mean having to go check on them every day and bringing them meals.

5. Have an emergency fund for family emergencies. If your family is like mine, they are all over the country. We have a fund to pay for emergency trips we may need to make. This is used for illness in the family, death of a family member, and even a mental breakdown of a sibling.

-emma