Dreams

I think like any person I have a lot of dreams. I do not get everything I imagine in my dreams. Sometimes what I want is not what I need. My Master gives me what I need, not necessary what I want or what my dream would be. My Master does indulge me but he by no means gives me everything my little heart desires. My Master makes determinations of what I need. He sets my long-term goals for me and tells me when to put others on the shelf.

In a way, it is nice not having to make those decisions but in a way it is painful. I can see my life moving before my eyes and I have no control over it. Sometimes, I ponder what my life would have been like if I made my own choices. I wonder how it would have been different. I think I would have fallen flat on my face a few times.

I do not know if I would really be able to make it in this world without a Master. I am not exactly suited for vanilla life. I find that I do better when there is someone to control me and when my life belongs to someone else.

It has been nearly 8 years since I have had to option to make major life decisions. I do not think I would change that. My Master has been a stabilizing force in my life. He keeps me grounds and he seems to be able to keep my depression under control.

I have made progress since I have been with my Master. When we started out, I was a college student. Now I am a college graduate who is going back to school to get a higher degree. I have had mild success in the job field. I have diverse skills and I am a skilled worker which makes me highly employable.

I think I am very lucky to have the life that has been given to me. I live a very comfortable existence and I am quite happy. I do worry about the future and where my Master’s plans for me will take us. But I can sleep soundly because those plans and changes to those plans are not made by me.

-emma