Starting with the External

I used to get somewhat irritated by a new person’s consistent questions about how a slave is kept in the pubic region. It is most definitely the personal preference of the Master, but it seems being told how to keep your pubic hair is a common early struggle.

But I got to thinking, why is it dictating how a slave’s hair is kept is so important in the beginning stages. I think it has to do with identifying of self. We as humans are very much interested in how we perform and look in a sexual content. Just walk into any department store and there will be isles of merchandise to make you look prettier, sexier, and younger.

I know when I presented myself to my Master for the first time. I was very concerned if he would find me sexually appealing. I was thin, my breasts are small, I had visible scars on my wrists from a failed suicide attempt, ache, and so on. I remember my Master running his hand over my cunt and saying, ‘you’re going to keep that shaved.” I have been shaved ever since. My Master does not even know what color my pubic hair is (It doesn’t match the hair on my head.). I was shaved the first time I presented myself to him because I asked him what his preference was beforehand.

It did bother me to keep it shaved because women tended to have a least a little strip of hair and have nothing. Overtime I have grown accustomed to it but I know for a long time I had to tell myself I am doing this to please my Master. Being shaved bare was not my idea of sexual beauty. It was degrading. It did mess with my sense of self. How I identified myself as a woman changed and now when I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw an owned object.

I had to accept that my ideal of beauty did not matter to my Master. I am his to do with as he pleases. Aside from my pubic region my Master controls how I look. I wear my hair long and I am not allowed to dye it. I am often ordered to paint my fingernails and toe nails but I can only paint them in “little girl” colors. Any color that he perceives to be adult like red is not allowed.

I do not always like the way my Master makes dress or how he makes me keep my body but regardless of my feelings on it. I have always submitted to his desires. I think it is the submission and the handing over of control is what a Master is looking for from a slave.

Giving other my external self with how I kept my body opened me up to being able to hand over control to the things that are inside me. My Master not only controls how my body looks but also my mind. He has complete control over me. He is able to have me act in a way that is pleasing and/or functional to him regardless of my feelings on it. I do not think my Master would have been able to gain control of my mind so easily if he had not first conquered who I am on the outside.

-emma