An Overview of my Early Training with my former Master

One thing I get asked a lot is what my early training was like with my former Master, because as my Master often says. I was pretty well trained when he got me. He just had to put on some finishing touches, so to speak. Let me preface this by saying I do not recommend anyone treat their slave or anyone else in their life the way I was treated. I do not condone violence in anyway, but through violence is how I developed. 

I reason why I have always skirted around this question is because it was and still is difficult for me to form into words.  I don’t know the best way to describe that time in my life, so I will do my best to make sense. I suppose I should start by saying I was young when I went to be with my former Master. I was underage and he was in his 40s. He had been a bachelor most of his life and he had very specific ideas of what he wanted, how he wanted it, and etc. I had to learn to fit inside that box or face the consequences.

He expected me to do as I was told, be quite, keep the house spotless, never get ill, never mess up, and etc. If I failed at any one of those, I would get punished. I would get beaten with closed fists, kicked, slapped, and so on over anything he saw as my fault. If I really made him angry he would lock me away for a time.

My desire to please and to stop this from happening was somewhat futile. He would look for reasons to punish me. He liked hitting me and it aroused him. He didn’t want to hit me because he was in charge or because he could. He wanted a reason and something to point to as the reason why this was happening.  He wanted me to hate it and he wanted me to feel bad about whatever it was I did and feel deserving of that sort of treatment. I learnt to pay very close attention to everything I did and my appearance. I didn’t want him to find a reason to punish me but oftentimes I found myself dealing with situations outside of my experience so on a first try if I failed. I was punished.

We did not have open communication in the relationship. I wasn’t allowed to speak to him in less spoken to and I spoke in the third person.  It was difficult for me because I felt like I wasn’t able to let him know how I felt about anything and it created a no compromise situation. My mental state, health, and generalized well-being were not taken into account with any of his decisions. It was simply about what he wanted with a disregard for anyone else.  The purpose this served for me is I learnt in a relatively short time that my own personal thoughts and opinions did not matter. What mattered was how he felt.

I may or may not go into more details with this in the future. My concern with talking about this openly is someone will decide it is a good way to train a slave and start beating their slave. I can honestly say I do not believe anyone deserves to be treated the way I was treated regardless of the perceived benefits of doing so. This is also a very difficult subject for me to speak about.

-emma