Bummed

Having a child has been semi-officially eliminated as an option. Our appointment at the Fertility Clinic today went poorly. It turns out I am not the only one with fertility problems. My Master’s sperm count is low and combined with my polycystic ovarian syndrome. That leaves us with IVF.

My Master and I have some ethical concerns about using IVF. To some degree I feel it is like playing God and it is not a road I really want to travel down. Sometimes I think God does not give us everything we want and God has his reasons. Whether it is a test in patience or simply not our purpose I do not know. I suppose after I go to Heaven I may ask God.

I am saddened by this and I think that perhaps I just need to refocus my energies. Adopting a child is still an option, but we would have to complete some classes from DHS and save up a lot of money. I just don’t want to find myself out of house and home on a quest to have a child. I think there needs to be reasonable boundaries on what expense we are willing to take on to do this.

Perhaps that reasonable expense is enjoying the children my Master already has from previous relationships and spending time with our nieces and nephews. Maybe we should look at moving closer to family rather than having a baby.

-emma