Customizing M/s

I did a search today pure classical music, it was out of complete curiosity as to what other people view as pure and classic in what I would think would be a less disputed field of music. I found that my search, yielded results I did not expect. I was expecting to see Mozart, Bach, and Mozart but what I got was Hindu classical music which is very different then the classic music I was thinking of. I think it is interesting how my interpretation of something like music is not universally the same. It differs with culture, taste, and etc.

The reason I reference this is because when we are discussing different relationships what is classic in one relationship maybe completely foreign in another relationship. It is the understanding of those differences that helps, people like me; get a better understanding of myself.

For some reason, I do not feel like an oddity when I am around people that accept other people’s differences. I think sometimes people limit themselves to only people that fit perfectly into their view of the world because outside differences make them think they are going to grow a part from their partner.

I have been pondering differences in M/s relationships for years and it hasn’t brought me away from my Master. Over the years our relationship has grown to depths I didn’t were possible when I first started out. When I was a newbie I probably would have dismissed someone like myself as someone who was trusting too much.

As a newbie, I had a very different picture of an M/s relationship than what it actually is. A lot of what I thought was based on what my former Master had told. He based his style on what he considered to be perfect for him. He thought it was a classic M/s relationship.

Two years after meeting him, I had found a new Master who had a very different picture of what an M/s relationship could be. He didn’t care if anyone thought our relationship was pure or classic. He wanted a relationship and a dynamic that worked for him. It was from that point that my Master and I started our relationship. Eight years later we are still together, living under the same roof, and happily married. Creating our own blueprint for a relationship and editing it regularly seems to be working out pretty well for us.

-emma

The Rebel in me

I haven’t done a lot lately because I have been sick and my Master has ordered me not to do the chores and so forth. This weekend I felt compelled to clean the bathroom. I waited until my Master left to go meeting and then I decided to conquer the bathrooms. I knew that he wouldn’t let me clean the bathrooms if he was home, so I was being a little bit rebellious.

I knew I couldn’t bend over a lot without getting light headed so I got a TV tray and sat it by the bathroom. I put my cleaner on the tray along with everything on the counters. This method seemed to work pretty well. I felt so happy to be cleaning again; I felt like I was in my element.

I was cleaning the bathtub that was my undoing. I sprayed the walls of the bathtub and began to feel off. I was determined so I continued. The bathtub was the only time I really had to bend over and it didn’t go over well. I did for the record manage to complete cleaning the tub before I started having issues.

As I was making the final swipe I felt my eyes go blurry and I started coughing. Then I vomited. I stumbled to our bed and I laid there for about 45 minutes. Once I got my bearings again I put everything away.

Aside from the vomiting part I felt pretty good about what I accomplished. My Master rolled his eyes when I told him this story. He said that he is glad I am getting around a little bit more but I am certainly not up to par yet.

I think the next time I have the urge to clean the bathroom, I will ask my Master to scrub the bathtub until we get whatever is wrong with me figured out.

-emma

Note: Image above was taken in Hot Springs, AR at a historic bathhouse by me. I thought it was fitting. In the 1800s in was believed that the spring water had healing properties so people would come from all over to get healed in the bath houses.

Brats

For as long as I have been in an M/s relationship, I have never understood the appeal of being a brat. To me that is a cute way of saying, “I like to sass my Master and disobey my Master.” I think how as a slave I present myself to my Master speaks volumes about who I am, what my worth to him is, and his value in my life.

I do not make fun of my Master or talk back when he gives me an order. I may not like the order, but I can express that to him without acting like a brat. There is no need for me to mention things that is not pertinent to the issue at hand. Even after I state my opinion, chances are if my Master already laid down the order it is pretty final.

I think the little orders matter. If my Master tells me he likes something a certain way, I should not deliberately go out and do something my way. If I were to do something like that, it would be acting bratty. I listen to what my Master has to say and I follow how I present myself with his preferences. I may not like all of his preferences but my end goal is to try to please him, not to please my own selfish desires.

It baffles my mind to no end when a slave thinks being a brat is a desirable trait to have. I think in my time with my Master we have had more than one run in with a brat on our search for a second slave. Each time, they are rejected because their bratty behavior comes out as an initial attack on me. Then each time upon rejection like clockwork, they will pout and bring up how terrible of a past they had. It gets old. I think everyone has had a crappy life experience at one time or another, but you can either let that life experience define you as a person or you can choose not to let your past be your Master.

-emma

Quitting Work :(

Due to my recent medical issues, my Master has ordered that I quit work. I will admit that I was pretty upset by this order. I actually started crying about it. I didn’t want to quit a job I just started and I actually kind of liked the job. Except for the part where the job was beyond boring and the hour lunch was way too long but no place is perfect.

Right now, I am focusing my health and attempting to keep up with housework. My Master gets upset when I do any sort of bending over so I am slowing figuring out ways to do things without bending over. I am still working on how to clean the toilet without bending over. Last weekend, I did some ironing but I had to stop after 3 items because my head was feeling fuzzy. Things have been a challenge for me lately.

I cannot drive and I never realized how important driving is to me until now. I cannot even go to the grocery store around the corner. It is an adjustment for me but I am getting used to the idea. I think my issue with it is I feel like I cannot serve my Master and I am being more of a burden to him. He assures me I am not a burden and he is working with me to get past that.



The good news is I have a furry alarm system that lets me know when I am going to start having issues. One of my kitties will come and hover around me and start meowing. When that happens I know it is time to lie down before I fall down. I am grateful for my kitty; she takes good care of me.

-emma

Jerky

I made jerky yesterday because I have been having meat cravings lately. Making my own jerky is significantly cheaper than buying jerky. I spent 10 dollars for the ground turkey and we already had the seasoning. That is a gallon size bag full of jerky. It isn’t all of the jerky some of my family has been visiting and got into it yesterday.

I used a jerky press to form the strips and I baked them in my oven at 170 for about 6.5 hours. I flipped the jerky halfway through cooking. I lined the racks in my oven with tin foil and I laid the strips directly on the racks.

-emma

Reflecting on the start of training

Probably the most important thing to my Master is obedience. When he tells me to do something; he expects me to do it. It has always been this way since day one.

I remember early in my relationship with my Master he wanted me to shave his face one day. I was petrified of this notion. I was terrified that I was going to cut my Master’s face. It probably took me 30 minutes to shave his face and he later described it as a terrible shave. But perfection with shaving his face was not the purpose of the exercise.

The purpose of the exercise was to comply with his wishes even though it made me uncomfortable. The purpose was to show me that the goal was completion and not absolute perfection. Perfection can come with practice, but before perfection can be met I would first have to try.

I was afraid of stepping outside of my little box and learning to do new things to some degree I was stuck in a role. From my time with my former master I was afraid of punishment. What my Master showed me by this exercise is I was not going to get punished for trying and it was his job to help me find perfection.

Through little exercises like this, I learnt to obey and trust my Master. I learnt that I didn’t have to have reservations about obeying because of a fear of punishment if I lacked perfection.

-emma

Owned For 8 Years :)

Eight years ago today, my Master collared me as his slave. He placed a simple leather collar around my neck and I officially gave myself to him. This was the start of a very fulfilling and enlightening journey for me.

My enslavement to my Master has reached depths I thought were not possible and we have made it through some pretty low times and celebrated in some pretty nice times. I look forward to the future with my Master. I cannot fathom where this path will lead me in another 8 years. But I know one thing, I will still be owned by my Master.

-emma