Cinnamon Rolls

I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast this morning. Primarily because, it would please my Master and the other reason being it just sounds really good to me. I made the cinnamon rolls completely from scratch, which is part of the reason why it pleased my Master. He likes things that are homemade and not from a box.

My Master ate 3 cinnamon rolls with his breakfast so I think it is safe to say he liked them. I am always happy and honored to be able to serve my Master.

The dough I use to make the rolls is dough that can be made in advance and I use the same dough for dinner rolls. The recipe is listed below.

-emma

Dough
1 ½ cups of warm water
2 TSP dry yeast
2 cups prepared instant potatoes (you can use real potatoes but it is smoother with instant)
2/3 cups butter flavored shortening
2/3 cup white sugar
2 eggs
½ tsp salt
6 to 7 cups of flour

Cinnamon filling
¾ cup brown sugar
1 ½ TBLS cinnamon
½ TSP nutmeg

Frosting
4 TBLS butter
1 ½ cups powdered sugar
1 TSP vanilla
2 TBLS milk

Preparing the dough

1. Dissolve dry yeast in warm water. This will take about 10 minutes.
2. While the yeast is dissolving prepare instant potatoes
3. Once yeast is dissolved slowly mix in two beaten eggs, sugar, shortening, salt, mashed potatoes, and 3 cups of flour.
4. Slowing all remaining flour and knead for about 5 minutes.
5. Divide dough into four portions. If using immediately allow the dough to rise at room temperature for 1 hour. If not being used immediately, place remaining dough in a gallon size zip top bag and place in the refrigerator. The dough will stay good in the refrigerator for about a week.

Making the cinnamon rolls

1. Use ¼ of the dough previously made. Roll dough out onto a floured surface until it is about 1 to 2 centimeters thick.
2. Mix together brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg until smooth.
3. Pour over rolled out dough and spread around until evenly covering the dough.
4. Lightly press the brown sugar mixture into the dough
5. Genitally roll the dough the long way, so you have a long and skinny roll.
6. Wet the ends of the roll to stick together.
7. With a floured knife cut the dough into 12 pieces.
8. Place in a greased casserole pan.
9. Let rise for 1 hour and preheat oven to 375
10. Bake for 20 minutes
11. Allow to cool for 15 minutes before serving and frosting

Frosting

1. Mix together powdered sugar and melted butter until smooth.
2. Add vanilla and milk, mix until smooth.
3. Lightly drizzle over warm rolls.

YAY!

I found a job today that is to scale with my old job and I start on Monday. I am super excited about going back to work and my Master is very pleased.

Master took me out to dinner tonight for surf and turf to celebrate. It was amazing. He is also allowing me to go shopping tomorrow for new clothes for my new job. This job is more business casual whereas the job I had before was more jeans and a t-shirt.

I am a little nervous about going back to work because it will be a change of routine. (My Master laughed when I told him this because I had only been off two weeks.) I know I will be fine and I am looking forward to this new adventure.

The job is doing basic accounting, which is more in line with my education. I think this will be a good opportunity to use my mind.

-emma

07/14/2011

My job search is looking up. I have had three job interviews this week. I am excited about the prospect of finding a new and better job soon. I have conclusively determined that while some may really enjoy being a house slave. This is to slow of pace for me.

I did decide to make homemade bread today. It was not nearly as time consuming as I remember it being when I was working. I suppose that is one positive side effect of not working. I am able to focus more on the domestic things and they do not seem like such a big event.

In a two hour time period, I made bread, cooked a package of bacon (we cook it in advance to save time), cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed all the tile floors in the house, did a load of laundry, made the bed, took out the trash, and checked my Facebook account 3 times.

Needless to say, I am now doing the chores that I would do in the evening during the day and spending a lot more time online. I find myself watching mindless TV all evening and playing on my smart phone. I feel like I am in a lull. I am sure being a house slave would be more functional if we had children. Since we do not have children I do not see this as functional.

I think I am going to start working on my Spanish speaking skills for an hour a day that way I keep my mind active. I can see this going in a negative direction if I do not keep my mind active.

-emma

Privacy

One of the many things I am not allotted in my life is privacy. My Master has full access to me, including my body and of course my mind. It takes time to be able to truly let go of the feeling of needing privacy. It makes me feel vulnerable and very much at my Master’s mercy.

My Master has done things since the start of our relationship to reinforce my lack of privacy. In the beginning and now, I am required to keep my body hair including my pubic area shaved. My Master says I do not deserve the privacy that would give me.

In the beginning of our relationship, my Master would have me randomly strip in front of him. It was embarrassing and I think he intended it to be that way. It defiantly put me in my place and reminded me of his power over me. Now, I am not allowed to wear clothes when we are at home. It is an odd feeling at times, when I am completely nude and my Master is dressed or when I am naked and collared at the dinner table. I can feel that vulnerability.

One of the things my Master started early on was not allowing me to close the bathroom door while using the restroom. At first my Master didn’t enter the room. Now on occasion he will watch me and make comments on my bodily functions. It reminds me that I am nothing more than his property.

My Master also takes nude pictures and video of me. Sometimes, I enjoy these pictures being taken and sometimes I do not. It is always humiliating to me when we are hiking somewhere and my Master tells me to take off my clothes so he can take pictures of me. I think I have more pictures of myself naked than with clothes on. My Master does have me post nude pictures of myself, some of them I like and think I look pretty while others I do not.

I think to some degree I like posting pictures which my Master likes and I do not more than posting pictures I like. It reminds of me of my place and my status as a slave. I do not get to pick what is done to me. My Master makes those choices.

I think if I had privacy, I would not be as good of slave to my Master. Because I would be hiding myself behind doors, clothes, and anything else I could possibly find. I truly believe that taking away my privacy is one of the best things my Master could have done for me.

-emma

One Week of Unemployment :(

So I am going on one week of being unemployed and I am going stir crazy. My Master is ordering me to clean out a lot of storage stuff that we haven’t used in a long time. I have five bags of trash sitting in the living room right now waiting to go out to the curb tomorrow evening. So I have been keeping busy but I still feel like I am doing nothing.

I think my feeling of doing nothing comes from not providing monetary support to my Master’s household. I do not feel like I am pulling my own weight. I know that what I am doing has value to my Master and that he wanted me to quit my job. But I still feel like I am doing nothing.

I have faith that I will find a new job soon and hopefully my Master will tell me what he wants me to go back to school for. I think the structure that a job gives me and additional schooling will go a long way to help me sense of service and meaning to my Master.

-emma

Lots-O-Sleep and Pie

Yesterday, I went to bed early around 9 PM. I woke up a little after midnight and I was up for about 30 minutes while I drank some water. Then I went back to bed and I woke up to fix my Master breakfast and fix his lunch. After he went to work, I went to bed. I woke up at about 11:30. I think in all I slept for about 12 hours.

Master says he knew I was exhausted and knew this massive amount of sleep was going to happen. To some degree, I feel guilty about sleeping so much rather than being productive and serving my Master. The last thing I want to be is displeasing to him.

I do think this time off work, all be it a few days, has been good for me. I was able to refocus on my relationship with my Master. I have really been able to focus more on him in the evenings when he is home, instead of opening my laptop from work to attempt to get caught up. I think it is safe to say my work/life balance was off kilter.

I am actively looking for another job. I am hopeful that I will find one which suites our lifestyle and allows me to have the time with Master that we need. I need to be able to serve my Master.

I am feeling a lot better. I even experimented in the kitchen this evening. I made a shepherds’ pie with shredded chicken instead of ground turkey. It turned out really good. I had some rather tough chicken breasts I wanted to use up and this did the trick. I boiled the chicken breasts in chicken broth and then I let it cool before shredding it. I then mixed it with a can of tomato sauce and a pound of mixed vegetables. I then topped it with mashed potatoes and baked it for 40 minutes. The result was yummy. It turned out better than expected.

I suppose being unemployed for a short time has its benefits.

-emma

Jobless

So unemployment is rather boring. I’ve been doing the wife thing. You know the cooking and cleaning. I’ve cleaned some stuff over this weekend that I haven’t touched in awhile and that felt pretty good.

The thing that makes me ponder though is if I was still employed I would have had the last 3 days off and I probably wouldn’t have done much and I would have been stressed. It is easy for me to see now how stressed my job was making me and why my Master wanted me to quit my job. It was becoming more than my job, it was starting to take over my life.

I have my life back now and I am grateful for that. My Master wants me to spend the week picking up around the house and getting things done that we tend to put off because we were always working. We actually have an unexpected repair of the oven to contend with so that will be on my priority list this week.

It feels weird, not having a job to go to and trying to figure out what to do with my time. My Master is giving me guidance in this area which I appreciate. At this point my work future is up in the air. I hope I find a new job soon and I hope I do not have to settle on a crumby job.

-emma